The Elusive Blue Jolly Rancher

As an "instructor" I naturally keep a box of Jolly Ranchers in my cabinet to give to helpful students who help clean up the classroom at the end of the class period or deliver things to other classrooms for me--candy is like the cocaine of 7th graders. They get high on that stuff and go crazy over it. Anyway, I found that one flavor is the single most requested flavor of all five flavors that occur in the bags I buy:

Blueberry.

This flavor runs out faster than all the others and it is the most requested flavor of all. It stands as the diametric opposite of Grape, which is always the flavor I have left and nobody requests by name--though they still eat it when I offer it and there are no other flavors left.

Until writing this, however, I had no idea why this flavor was so favored above the others. But I've had one in my mouth since I began writing this post and now, as the post comes to an end, all that's left is a tiny shard of my Blueberry jolly rancher. What can I say... it was delicious. I can see what all the hype is about.

Dana Perino is my new press secretary

Okay, so a few posts back I promised a new album called "Eight Tracks" which would contain exactly 8 tracks and have 8-tracks (i.e. the precursor to cassettes) on the cover. Unfortunately my goals of finishing the entire album in a month, from conception to recording has met several road blocks. For one the month of March is long over and although I did record 8 new songs in that time, each one in one of the 8 keys with "natural" root notes (i.e. C-D-E-F-G-A-B-Cx2), a few of them kinda sucked. Furthermore, this job is just draining the crap out of me and I've been extremely tired every single day I get home. I played a few random, low-key solo shows in the past few months--a couple Austin open mics, at the Relay For Life in Sanford, and then again at Austin on a random Saturday--but that's been about it for my music-related activities.

Since my self-appointed and now-broken deadline of March 31, I've been trying to record 8 real songs that are of a little higher quality. So far, I'm close. I would say I have completed all the demos, but there's still some work to be done. I'm probably going to change the title of the album from "Eight Tracks" to something else, and it probably won't be as "Matisse and Carrots" (really, that is just another ploy to keep my music myspace on the DL for professional reasons. However, that's not to say this is an "omar delarosa" album either. Honestly, I'm not sure what to do with these songs yet, I'm just trying to get them all done and into a presentable shape.

Who knows, before this is all done, I might re-record all these songs on synthesizers and drum machines and make like a techno album.

(Okay, so that's unlikely)

But I am trying to apply all the new things about music and songwriting I've learned in the past few months with/as Magnet Club and learn from my mistakes.

Anyway, one thing that may happen is that I might add 4 tracks to the eight and take out one of the C-major songs in favor of C#, D#, F#, G#, and A# major songs. Although they're not all in major keys (some of them switch to the relative minor for parts of the song) they all end up back in their given major key by the end. However, throughout the course of the album, I would like to visit all 12 possible "home tones." It's no Schoenberg, but I'd like to think of the whole album as a single 12-tone piece--or at least as close as I can get to it within the confines of "pop" and without any real, formal, musical training outside of random electives, for musical outsiders at school.

So that's it. If you have any questions about this (hardly) secret album project, let me know and I will hook you up with my Press Secretary and you two can do lunch.

Vampire Weekend @ Park Ave Cds!

Okay, so I might be late on this BUT it's important that everybody reading this know:

VAMPIRE WEEKEND 

WILL PLAY A FREE,

IN-STORE SHOW

AT PARK AVE. CDS 

ON JUNE 7th, 2008.

That's all.  Now go, and tattoo that information onto your forearm so you don't forget.

Work for the CIA: Uncle Sam Wants Your Central Intelligence!

So I was reading a NYTimes article on whether or not Hillary's victory in West Virginia yesterday matters, when I notice an odd banner ad. Usually, I can tune these out, since I've learned to ignore banner ads, but this one got me--dang advertisements. Anyway, this one was about working for the CIA. As I browsed through the site, it turns out that the CIA actually has some cool employment opportunities in the Language department. Unfortunately, they have enough Spanish speakers and do not need a Spanish-language expert. But one field they do need is "Foreign Media Analyst." Hmmm. Check this description out and tell me it doesn't sound cool:

Open Source Officers (OSOs) are the Intelligence Community's foreign media experts. They use foreign language and area knowledge to review and assess foreign open media sources, including Internet sites, newspapers, press agencies, television, radio and specialized publications, collecting intelligence from these media to deliver high-impact products to the US foreign affairs community. OSOs develop and apply in-depth knowledge of a broad range of foreign media to identify trends and patterns, and to write analytical products. They may also translate text, audio and video information and select materials from the media for translation by independent contract translators. OSOs research and analyze the media environment in a particular country or region and prepare media analyses that inform customers of subtle relationships and trends in the media.

The candidates we seek are creative, with a keen interest in foreign affairs, strong writing and analytical skills, a well-developed facility for reading and translating one or more of a broad range of foreign languages, and working knowledge of the Internet. Many OSOs have lived in their region of interest and/or have formally studied the politics and history of a particular country or region.

Positions are in the metropolitan Washington, D.C. area, with limited opportunities for overseas travel and assignments. In addition to salary and benefits, these Officers are eligible to earn annual language "bonus" pay based on in-house language proficiency testing. OSOs may also have the opportunity to take courses in additional languages and area studies as well as other relevant training.

As a part of the screening process, selected applicants will be sent a language proficiency test and asked to provide an analytic writing sample. The following languages, or language combinations, with relevant area knowledge are sought: Arabic; Bulgarian; Central Asian and Russian; Chinese; Czech; Dari/Pashtu; Farsi/Persian; French and Arabic; French or Portuguese and African Studies; Greek; Hebrew and Arabic; Hindi; Hungarian and Romanian; Indonesian; Korean; Polish; Russian and Ukrainian; Serbo-Croatian; Turkish; and Urdu.

It's too bad, I don't speak any of those languages... Oh wait!

Important Notice: Friends, family, individuals, or organizations may be interested to learn that you are an applicant for or an employee of the CIA. Their interest, however, may not be benign or in your best interest. You cannot control whom they would tell. We therefore ask you to exercise discretion and good judgment in disclosing your interest in a position with the Agency. You will receive further guidance on this topic as you proceed through your CIA employment processing.

... Crap. Did I say this looked interesting? I mean, it doesn't. I'm not interested in applying for a cool Media Analyst job at the CIA at all.

Isn't it funny ...

... how I can read articles about Facebook from my work computer but I can't actually visit Facebook itself? It cracks me up.

Anyway, at least I can visit Pitchfork--though not Stereogum.

This Conchord Flies!

Musical comedy is a tricky thing. Obviously I'm a fan of music and, perhaps almost as obviously, I'm a fan of comedy. But does that necessarily make me a fan of musical comedy? No. In fact, as much as I loved Adam Sandler's They're All Gonna Laugh At You and just about all the songs by Stephen Lynch ("Special Fred," "If I Were Gay," "Hermaphrodite," etc.) there just came a point at which the jokes lost their novelty and the music supporting them just wasn't musically strong enough to survive without the novelty of the lyrics. This is usually the problem with most musical comedy. Whether it's Monty Python's songs or SNL/Andy Samberg hits like "My Dick In A Box" and "Lazy Sunday." Point is:

Music lovers who are also comedy lovers are not always musical comedy lovers.

All that being said, I have not stopped listening to Flight of the Conchords' latest little album since I bought it a few days ago. And I've never even seen their show--although I did see them play live at Bonnaroo last year. Anyway, I listen to their CD almost every day on my lengthy commute to work (the music gets my mind of the rate at which I'm burning through all my money for every second I'm on the road burning gas). And y'know what? I may listen to this album many many many more times in the future. Why? Because unlike most musical comedy, it seems like the Flight of the Conchords are musicians first and comedians (poets perhaps?) second. That's not to say that their music isn't funny--cuz it damn-well is--but it's to say that they're tracks are such awesome musical tributes/arrangements to the last 30 or 40 years of pop music that if you took all the comedy out and just replaced it with unfunny, "regular" lyrics (emotional-ish lyrics maybe?) the music would still rule. Of course, you can't seperate the faux-reggae genius of "Boom" from it's ingenious lyrics (all the word-play involved is just too much of what makes that song rule). Furthermore, the jokes mixed with truth in songs like "Ladies of the World" is just too much. Like the little part at the end, hilarious as it may be, is also really true, take a look:

"If all the soldiers in the world
put down their weapon
and picked up a lady
What a peaceful world this would be.
I'm talking readheads not warheads...
blondes not bombs...
brunettes not fighter je-eh-ets...
Sweet sixteens not M16s..."

Okay, maybe it's no "Imagine" but it's certainly in the same ballpark. Comedy or not, that's just brilliant song-writing. Kudos to the Flight of the Conchords, those music and comedy, arse-kicking motha'uckers playin' that awesome shih'.

One Pure Thought (Here's to a good day...)

Seeing this video before the start of class has put me in a somewhat good mood. Hot Chip really know how to do that thing that Phil Collins and Peter Gabriel did where they take like World Folk Music and electrify in a way that sounds both modern and primitive at the same time. This song (and video for that matter) do just that. I just hope watching this only minutes before the first bell rings at 9:25/9:26 is a sign that today'll be a good day.

I'm just super tired from (the attenmpt at) going to the Social last night to see Summerbirds in the Cellar and the Liars. I was so tired I had to leave at like 10:30, before either band even started. I saw the opening DJ--Woo! Actually, he was good. Whatever his name was. All I know is he was wearing a Fuck Buttons shirt and mixed like the Smiths' "How Soon Is Now" like over some Electro-shite and it was awesome. Crap. That's the bell. Gotta go.

Yuke Tube

So I randomly found this girl on YouTube a while back (okay, not so randomly, since she's one of the bigger and most famous YouTube-ers) and I'm addicted to her videos. Check them out. (Especially her Kanye West's Jesus Walks cover) You too, will be addicted to the videos....




(Correction Appended)

Kanye West: France's New Hope For America's Masses (Part 2)

More fueling evidence for my not-so-fiery theory that Kanye is the American revivalist of the 2005/2006 French-house sound: the guy posts this new Justice video exclusively on his blog...

(Caution to the kiddies: Video contains a lot of violence and some incredibly awesome music that may blow minds)

justice_stress
by 75_prod

(A pretentious) P.S. - Isn't it also interesting how Justice is pushing the same brand ofPop-Music Formalism Pitchfork accused Simian Mobile Disco of pushing with this high-in-musical-tension song, aptly titled "Stress," that blatantly includes a self-referential snippet of a past Justice song blasting from the car speaker towards the end of the video? Okay, even though that sentence ends in a question mark it's purely rhetorical since the answer is "Yes, both Justice and Simian Mobile Disco could be considered Pop-Music Formalists since approach electronic music from the outside (Simian Mobile Disco having been a indie-rock-band named Simian prior to switching gears into electronica production and Justice having been ... well into Metallica) and use the possibilities of electronic music to make synthetic, but viscerally-populist music for the sole-effect of channeling the ghosts of arena-rock through dance music that moves a lot of air and draws huge crowds." (Wow that was a long-ass sentence, but hey, I told ya this was a pretentious post-script.)

And they didn't destroy the place!

You know your expectations as a teacher are low when you arrive, the day after calling in sick and requesting a substitute, and smile because they students didn't destroy the place. Granted, each class period is only about 50 minutes long and it would probably take a group of 20 or so 13 year-olds a little bit more than 50 minutes to destroy and entire portable. Then again, these little tykes have surprised me in the past...





Here's to surviving for 4.5 more weeks.